Vonn and Mourinho Hit the Ice

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My top three recent upgrades in television: 3. High definition; 2. Giant screens; 1. Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.

  • What do you call slumping Winnipeg Jets sniper Patrik Laine having just two goals in his last 22 games? Life in the slow Laine.
  • After U.S. Olympian Kendall Coyne Schofield skated faster than some men in an NHL All-Star competition, commentator Pierre McGuire told her: “Nobody wanted to lose to you.” If that was meant to be a compliment, he went to the backhand.
  • Ex-Manchester United coach Jose Mourinho dropped the ceremonial opening puck at a KHL game, then promptly fell flat on his ass on the ice. “Tell us about it,” said the Anaheim Ducks.
  • In the Super Bowl post game, Bill Belichick celebrated with his two-year-old granddaughter, Blakely. I hear she was asked for her thoughts, but would only say “We’re on to Cincinnati.”
  • Bruins pest Brad Marchand said he’d never put an emoji on his stick; he has “way more self-respect than that.” Spoken with the same tongue that licked another guy’s face.
  • NFL in-game coaching is often likened to a chess match. I’m thinking Rams coach Sean McVay got Belichick-mated.
  • Lindsey Vonn crashed in the super-G at the world championships in Sweden. Vonn is also reportedly dating Predators blueliner PK Subban — no word if they fell hard for each other.
  • Recently married supermodel Emily Ratajkowski reportedly tied the knot five months before anyone saw her wedding ring. Well, other than the crew of the space station.
  • I’m thinking the University of Miami’s new punter, Louis Hedley, may have a bit of a tattoo obsession. He’s got more ink than the Hurricanes’ playbook.
  • Newly hired Washington inside-linebackers coach, Rob Ryan, said he’s coming to the job with a “humble attitude.” Right. About as likely as him appearing on a box of Wheaties.

RJ’s Punalty Box

The Toronto Raptors prepared for the stretch drive by trading for Marc Gasol. You might say they pressed on the Gasol peddle.