Will Matthews be a da Vinci, or a Stickman?


TC Chong, on several Patriots saying they will not go with the team if invited to the White House: “Brady dodged that question, but odds are he’ll pass again same as 2017, because he doesn’t eat hamberders.”

  • Janice Hough, on the same topic: “Some Patriots players already say they aren’t going to the White House. Because they don’t like Trump, or they don’t like cold fast food?”
  • From Torben Rolfsen: “Boring Super Bowl. Nothing interesting happened until Joe Namath hit on the Lombardi Trophy.”
  • Do the Leafs have to win this year, before their roster starts being blown up by large contracts? Given the national coverage, you would never know the Canadiens have one less point than the Leafs.
  • Goalie Glenn Hall, when asked in 1969 if he had any superstitions: “I have a superstition against superstitions. When I think I am getting into a situation that might lead to a superstition, I make a habit of changing my habits.” 
  • Hough, on the fuss being made about Super Bowl MVP Julian Edelman having been suspended for PEDs this season: “It’s not like he did anything awful like kneel for the US anthem.”
  • Steve Simmons of the Toronto Sun, on former Raptor Delon Wright: “He was an IKEA basketball player for the Raptors. He had all the parts. He just couldn’t put them together.”
  • How does this happen? Mitch Marner is plus-20 and Auston Matthews is plus-2? 
  • From Tweets of Old: “You never see a banker at a charity soup house. That is where his victims go.” (Alabama, 1897)
  • Rolfsen, on Mississauga, Ontario’s Nik Stauskas being with four NBA teams in one week: “That ties Madonna’s old record.”
  • Revenue these companies generate each hour: Apple — $29.9 million; Amazon — $26.6 million; Google — $15.6 million; Microsoft — $13.5 million; IBM — $9.1 million; Facebook — $6.4 million. 
  • Simmons, on the Auston Matthews signing: “He is a painting only partially painted. He is a hockey work in progress. He looks just like a masterpiece of sorts; we just don’t know exactly what this masterpiece will be at its highest and freshest point.” I swear he wrote the same lede to a column last year. I darn near barfed then too.
  • From Chong: “Melania was spotted wearing just one glove to Donald’s SOTU address. The White House is not sure if she was paying tribute to Michael Jackson or Braden Holtby.”
  • MLB pitcher Justin Verlander, on having the DH in the National League: “All pitchers in baseball will be compared on an even playing field. Who would you rather face? David Ortiz or me?”
  • Hough, on Trump saying he would have a hard time with Barron playing football: “Because he knows bone spurs are hereditary?”
  • Chong, on veteran PGA pro golfer Rocco Mediate admitting to regular use of alcohol, even while playing: “This is to alleviate back pain he suffers from. So Rocco Mediate is Rocco Medicate.”