Which fell hardest when Duke sensation Zion Williamson’s court shoe exploded? a) Williamson’s butt to the floor? b) Duke fans’ hopes? c) Nike stock prices?
• Dr. Seuss quiz: What do you call the San Jose Sharks’ oldest player listening to a Roger Daltrey CD? Thornton hears a Who.
• Bravo Bianca Andreescu: first Canadian to win a WTA Premier event; first wildcard champ at Indian Wells; new top 25 player (24). Put aside I Dream of Genie — it’s Bianca to the Future.
• The Winnipeg Jets marked the first day of spring by getting blanked by the Vegas Golden Knights. Let’s hope this isn’t Round 1 of March badness.
• With Zion Williamson back on the court, Duke is considered a shoo-in to win the NCAA Tournament. When he was sidelined, they were a shoe-out.
• A woman was mauled by a jaguar while taking a selfie in a Phoenix zoo enclosure. Elsewhere, QB Nick Foles got $88 million from Jacksonville — so there the Jaguars got mauled.
• Hockey News called recent San Jose acquisition Gustav Nyquist “a top-nine addition with top-six potential.” It’s nice to see the Sharks stocking up for another playoff falling down.
• According to the Huffpost, Moscow police are searching for a man seen viewing paintings in Tretyakov Gallery without any clothes on. Remind me not to go there to see what’s hanging.
• Tampa Bay set a franchise record by scoring for the 297th time this season. Who says Lightning only strikes once?
• Reuters reports a South African sow that creates paintings which sell for up to $4,000 has been named Pigcasso. I was thinking Francis Bacon, Ham Gogh or Porkelangelo.
• American rock climber Alex Honnold told ESPN when nature calls on a climb, you scoop it up and take it with you. There’s a guy who really has his s*#t together.
• I’ll concede Duke star RJ Barrett of Canada is an outstanding basketball player. That said, what kind of goof goes by the name RJ?
RJ’s Punalty Box
After Bryce Harper’s $330-million Phillies deal, Manny Machado getting $300 million felt like small spuds. With apologies to Shakespeare, Manny’s deal became Muchado about nothing.